Emanuel's blog

Ever found yourself in a discussion regarding some qualified topic you didn’t have the faintest knowledge of? Fear not, dear reader, because here’s some waterproof arguments you can throw in next time, wether the topic be economics, politics or the latest pandemic.

1. The “after rain cometh sunshine” argument.
It’s a law of nature that everything changes, and thus everything that’s regarded as a negative will eventually turn positive. Are your mates discussing the causes of the current economic recession, using academic mumbojumbo such as V-shaped recession and Gross Domestic Product? Break your silence with an insightful remark that “eventually even the worst of recessions will end”, and you’ll be met with acknowledging nods. Waterproof.

2. The balance argument.
Most things are dualistic, so when a discussion concerns mostly one aspect of a subject simply input a reminder to the second part. For example, next time while you toast to Taylor’s glory, a thoughful reminder of worker welfare will only steer the discussions into best practices of Human Resource management. Once more you didn’t contribute the least to the original discussion, but still made a highly valuable contribution. Fantastic.

3. The “what about X?” argument.
This is a specifically nasty version of argument 2. It’s best described by Johann Hari in The Independent article How to spot a lame, lame argument:

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So whenever I report on, say, atrocities committed by Israel, I am bombarded with e-mails saying: “But what about the bad things done by Muslims? Why do you never talk about them?” Whenever I report on the atrocities committed by Islamists, I am bombarded with e-mails saying: “But what about Israel? Why do you never write about the terrible things they do?” And so it goes on, whatever the subject, in an endless international shifting of blame, united in the cry: “What about them! Talk about them instead!”

4. The “if only Y instead” argument.
This is the most idealistic argument. Famine, war, rape, terrorism, hurricanes… Nearly every institution preaching unified thoughts have a cure to all these injustices: “If we only lived in a purely socialist society instead!” or “In a perfectly free market…” and most used “If only everybody were humble Christians/Muslims/Jews/etc!” It’s cute, because they are all right, but only if everyone else thinks the same. Complexity is truly to complex to deal with.

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Use the arguments with care, and no one will notice you actually don’t have anything useful to say. Please feel free to share your stories of success in the comment section.

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